Having a parent that doesn’t love you must be one of the hardest things in the world, no matter how old you are. If you don’t feel loved by your parents, know this: it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Your parents have not fixed their own problems, now they are taking it out on you. That doesn't mean you don’t deserve to be loved; it just means they don’t know how to love.
You haven’t failed them, they failed you.
If you need to get some space from your parents, talk to someone you trust. If you can, talk to a friend, counsellor, family member, or anyone who will listen. It might be scary but telling others will help you feel stronger.
Remember they are hurt, so don’t let them hurt you. Just because your parents are broken doesn’t mean they can break you. Do things that mean they can no longer hurt you. It could simply mean speaking to them about it, or even cutting them out of your life. You will know what is best for you.
Be kind to yourself. It is so important. Your parents obviously don’t have your back, so you need to have your own. Be your own parent. Love yourself like they should love you. If your parents are against you, don’t make things harder by being mean to yourself. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the way you are.
If your parents don’t love you, they probably have said many hurtful things to you. What’s worse, is that you have probably started believing those things. Write down everything bad that you tell yourself about who you are; see if those statements come from your parents. Then start replacing those statements with good ones. For example, “I am stupid, and I can’t do anything” can be replaced with “I can achieve anything if I just put my mind to it”. Make a habit of thinking those good things every time you find yourself being negative. It will take time to change the way you think, be patient.
Turn to others. There are other people who care about you or will care about you. Find them. There are people who have had the same experience. There are people who will support you.
Don’t settle for anything less than love.
You deserve better.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
Orbiting Jupiter Gary D. Schmidt This is a book about a family who takes in a new child. It's hard and they learn a lot, but they get through it.
Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling This is obviously a classic series. If you haven't read it, now is the time. He might not be isolated, but Harry Potter has to deal with a lot of uncertainty. If you not that into reading, this is the easy read you need.
Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings by Mary Lamia, PhD
This will help you understand your emotions and who you are, how you appear to others, and what you can be. While your emotional life may feel out of control, your emotions are valuable. It's time to figure just what your emotions are telling you!
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
If you haven't watched it by now, it is time - it's a classic. Harry's adopted family treat him horribly
Anna sets out on a journey with an iceman, Kristoff, and his reindeer, Sven, in order to find her sister, Elsa, who has the power to convert any object or person into ice.
Kubo and the Two Strings An film of epic proportions. It's a classic tale of good vs evil. The animation is breathtaking and the story pulls you in all directions.
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