Standing up for yourself is hard. When others disrespect you it’s hard to have to confidence to speak and say how you feel. But hopefully these tips and resources will make it a bit easier.
You deserve to be heard. When people aren’t treating us right it is easy to keep quiet about it – we don’t want to ruin a friendship or a relationship, so we don’t say anything. The first thing you must realise is that your thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard. You deserve respect. Staying quiet can damage your relationship more than standing up for yourself.
Before you stand up for yourself look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they are unaware of the fact that they are hurt you. Think about the emotions you are experiencing, even write them down. The point is to give yourself time so that when you do stand up for yourself, you do it in the best way possible – cool, calm and considerate.
Try to find a moderate tone when standing up for yourself. Don’t personally attack the other person, but focus on the way their behaviour has made you feel. Let them know their actions – intentional or not – are making you feel uncomfortable, upset or angry. They should how you feel so they can analyse their own behaviour.
Practice beforehand. Standing up to someone is scary. You might want to practice what you are going to say before you do it. Write your ideas down, practice front of the mirror, or talk it over with an objective friend. Feeling prepared will give you that much more confidence for when the big day comes.
Remember, you deserve to be heard.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
The Ultimate Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens by Megan MacCutcheon This book will show you how to stop being a people pleaser, set boundaries and say no - without feeling guilty. Sounds like a dream, I know.
The Confidence Code for Girls by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman
This book is an empowering and entertaining guide that will give you to becoming bold, brave, and fearless.
What's Right With Me by Carlene Deroo & Carolyn Deroo
In this book is packed with activities you can use to figure out what's right in your life. Through guided reflection and journaling, you'll find strength and self-reliance in your best attributes.
A girl and her family live in a city ruled by dangerous men. After her father gets arrested, she pretends to be a boy to earn money for her family.
He Named Her Malala After men in her home country try to kill her for speaking out for girls' education, Pakistani teenager Malala Yousafzai becomes a leading voice for children's rights.
The Jungle Book Mowgli is a boy brought up in the jungle by a pack of wolves. When a tiger, threatens to kill him, he must stand up for himself with the help of a panther and a bear.
This playlist gives you the boost you need to speak out.
What science says
Research shows we often misjudge how assertive we are being. We over-estimate how assertive and dominating our behaviour comes across. Research finds that 57% of people, judged by others as being under-assertive, thought they themselves were either appropriately assertive or overly assertive. Plus, those who were judged to be appropriately assertive by others, though
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