Standing up for yourself is hard. When others disrespect you it’s hard to have to confidence to speak up and say how you feel. But hopefully these tips and resources will make it a bit easier.
You deserve to be heard. When people aren’t treating us right it is easy to keep quiet about it – we don’t want to ruin a friendship or a relationship, so we don’t say anything. The first thing you must realise is that your thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard. You deserve respect. Staying quiet can damage your relationship more than standing up for yourself.
Before you stand up for yourself look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they are unaware of the fact that they are hurt you. Think about the emotions you are experiencing, even write them down. The point is to give yourself time so that when you do stand up for yourself, you do it in the best way possible – cool, calm and considerate.
Try to find a moderate tone when standing up for yourself. Don’t personally attack the other person, but focus on the way their behaviour has made you feel. Let them know their actions – intentional or not – are making you feel uncomfortable, upset or angry. They should how you feel so they can analyse their own behaviour.
Practice beforehand. Standing up to someone is scary. You might want to practice what you are going to say before you do it. Write your ideas down, practice in front of the mirror, or talk it over with an objective friend. Feeling prepared will give you that much more confidence for when the big day comes.
Remember, you deserve to be heard.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades This book will show you how to stop being a people pleaser, set boundaries and say no - without feeling guilty. Sounds like a dream, I know.
The Confidence Code for Girls by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman
This book is an empowering and entertaining guide that will give you to becoming bold, brave, and fearless.
What's Right With Me by Carlene Deroo & Carolyn Deroo
In this book is packed with activities you can use to figure out what's right in your life. Through guided reflection and journaling, you'll find strength and self-reliance in your best attributes.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Walter Mitty works a dead-end office job, and dreams up romantic and action-filled scenarios to escape from his monotonous life. When his job is threatened, he sets out on a real journey.
On the Basis of Sex This biographical legal drama film is based on the life of US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and her struggle for equal rights
Hidden Figures Hidden Figures explores the story of a team of African-American mathematicians, working at NASA during the U.S space program and experiencing the sexism and racism of a male-dominated field.
This playlist gives you the boost you need to speak out.
What science says
Research shows we often misjudge how assertive we are being. We over-estimate how assertive and dominating our behaviour comes across. Research finds that 57% of people, judged by others as being under-assertive, thought they themselves were either appropriately assertive or overly assertive. Plus, those who were judged to be appropriately assertive by others, though
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