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Standing Up for yourself

Standing up for yourself is hard. When others disrespect you it’s hard to have to confidence to speak and say how you feel. But hopefully these tips and resources will make it a bit easier.

You deserve to be heard. When people aren’t treating us right it is easy to keep quiet about it – we don’t want to ruin a friendship or a relationship, so we don’t say anything. The first thing you must realise is that your thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard. You deserve respect. Staying quiet can damage your relationship more than standing up for yourself.

Before you stand up for yourself look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they are unaware of the fact that they are hurt you. Think about the emotions you are experiencing, even write them down. The point is to give yourself time so that when you do stand up for yourself, you do it in the best way possible – cool, calm and considerate.

Try to find a moderate tone when standing up for yourself. Don’t personally attack the other person, but focus on the way their behaviour has made you feel. Let them know their actions – intentional or not – are making you feel uncomfortable, upset or angry. They should how you feel so they can analyse their own behaviour.

Practice beforehand. Standing up to someone is scary. You might want to practice what you are going to say before you do it. Write your ideas down, practice front of the mirror, or talk it over with an objective friend. Feeling prepared will give you that much more confidence for when the big day comes.

Remember, you deserve to be heard.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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YouTube

Great
reads

The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades
This book will show you how to stop being a people pleaser, set boundaries and say no - without feeling guilty. Sounds like a dream, I know.

Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies by Tara Schuster
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson argues that life's struggles give it meaning, and that the mindless positivity of typical self-help books is neither practical nor helpful. Strap yourself in for this one.

Great
Films

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Walter Mitty works a dead-end office job, and dreams up romantic and action-filled scenarios to escape from his monotonous life. When his job is threatened, he sets out on a real journey.

On the Basis of Sex
This biographical legal drama film is based on the life of US Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and her struggle for equal rights

Hidden Figures
Hidden Figures explores the story of a team of African-American mathematicians, working at NASA during the U.S space program and experiencing the sexism and racism of a male-dominated field.

Spotify

This playlist gives you the boost you need to speak out.

Podcasts

Happier
Rubin helps us become happier, healthier, more productive and more creative; she knows there is no one-size-fits-all solution. She shares insights, strategies and stories that help people understand themselves and create a happier life.

Live & Lead for Impact
Kirsten E. Ross, the ‘expert of transformation’ guides listeners through realising and utilising their individual strengths and purpose. Leave fears and false belief’s behind, and start living your best life.

Ctrl Alt Delete
This is not a traditional career podcast. It’s a podcast for people who’ve looked at their interests to shape the work they do.

What science says

Research shows we often misjudge how assertive we are being. We over-estimate how assertive and dominating our behaviour comes across. Research finds that 57% of people, judged by others as being under-assertive, thought they themselves were either appropriately assertive or overly assertive. Plus, those who were judged to be appropriately assertive by others, though

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