Standing up for yourself is hard. When others disrespect you it’s hard to have to confidence to speak up and say how you feel. But hopefully these tips and resources will make it a bit easier.
You deserve to be heard. When people aren’t treating us right it is easy to keep quiet about it – we don’t want to ruin a friendship or a relationship, so we don’t say anything. The first thing you must realise is that your thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard. You deserve respect. Staying quiet can damage your relationship more than standing up for yourself.
Before you stand up for yourself look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they are unaware of the fact that they are hurt you. Think about the emotions you are experiencing, even write them down. The point is to give yourself time so that when you do stand up for yourself, you do it in the best way possible – cool, calm and considerate.
Try to find a moderate tone when standing up for yourself. Don’t personally attack the other person, but focus on the way their behaviour has made you feel. Let them know their actions – intentional or not – are making you feel uncomfortable, upset or angry. They should how you feel so they can analyse their own behaviour.
Practice beforehand. Standing up to someone is scary. You might want to practice what you are going to say before you do it. Write your ideas down, practice in front of the mirror, or talk it over with an objective friend. Feeling prepared will give you that much more confidence for when the big day comes.
Remember, you deserve to be heard.
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What science says
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