We are always hearing ‘just be yourself!’ We hear it in the media, movies and pretty much all the time growing up. It’s the go to way to comfort someone questioning their worth or finding it hard to accept themselves. It’s far easier said than done, that’s for sure! Developing self-love and acceptance is a marathon, not a sprint. In other words, it’s hard it is to overcome ingrained insecurities so it will take time.
We are all unique individuals. We have faults, talents and experiences that no one else has. Just as your life has been unique up until this point, the way you accept yourself will be unique too. It might take you a long time to accept yourself, it might take no time at all. There is no point in comparing yourself to others – your life will unfold in its own way.
Often, we feel we need to change what makes us different – we should be more like others. People will put pressure on you to change. But celebrate what makes you different – it’s what makes you, you. If people don’t accept you, you will find other people who do. Keep looking.
Remember to be kind and loving to yourself, even when it feels like it doesn’t matter. Excessive self-criticism can have lasting and damaging impacts on your self-worth.
Make sure you surround yourself with people who build you up, encourage you and support you. If people are constantly criticising you and breaking you down, it’s a whole lot harder to accept yourself.
Accept yourself in the good and the bad times. It’s all good and well to feel comfortable when things are going right, but accepting yourself is even more important when you’re feeling a little down or unhappy with life.
One of the most important parts of accepting yourself is forgiving yourself. We need to be able to forgive and understand our own actions and flaws, to overcome them and begin to love ourselves. We also need to be able to forgive others and the world around us. We all understand the mistakes of others because we have made similar mistakes. See others and ourselves with kindness and understanding, though it isn’t always easy, is an amazing way to start accepting ourselves for who we are.
Remember, don't live to exist, exist to live.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
Radical Self-Acceptance by Tara Brach
Radical Self-Acceptance gives you a way to discover the freedom that comes with kindness and true appreciation of yourself and others.
What a Time to be Alone by Chidera Eggerue
This book shows you that being alone is not just okay: it's just about the best freaking thing that's ever happened to you. As Eggerue says, 'You're bad as hell and you were made with intention.' It's about time you realised.
The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser
Shannon Kaiser walks you through her own personal experiment, a simple plan that compassionately guides you through the process of removing fear-based thoughts, so you can fall in love with life.
Great
Films
Moonlight
Chiron, a young African-American boy, finds guidance in Juan, a drug dealer, who teaches him to carve his own path. As he grows up in Miami, Juan's advice leaves a lasting impression on him.
Men, Women, Children
The excessive use of the internet affects a group of teenagers and their parents as they try dealing with their relationships and self-image issues.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home
Jeff is 30, unemployed and desperately looking for a sign that will lead him to his destiny. One day, a wrong number leads Jeff on a series of misadventures that help him find what he is looking for.
Spotify
The first step to being true to yourself is accepting yourself
Podcasts
The Imperfects
We're all imperfect. On this podcast, Hugh van Cuylenburg, chats to a people who are willing to make themselves vulnerable, by sharing their own struggles and imperfections.
The inner Child Podcast
The Inner Child Podcast is your weekly dose of practical tips for those who want to achieve their dreams by healing childhood wounds, low self-worth, and emotional baggage.
Taking Up Space The Podcast
Taking up space: the podcast is a space where not only do they share our stories, but they claim them while holding space for others to do the same. Here we embrace ourselves fully, our bodies, our quarks, everything.
What science says
Psychologist Carl Rogers identified something called ‘unconditional positive regard’ in 1959. It referred to how we think, talk and act about ourselves – and the startling impacts of these things on our concept of self-worth and psychological development. A person with a more positive outlook, who is able to overcome failure and views negative occurrences as ‘just a part of life’, is likely to be more successful.
Places to find more resources
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