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BEING ME

No One Gets Me

Feeling like no one understands you is stressful. We need to feel connected to, and valued by, others. When we don’t feel that way it can be frustrating, and even painful. Keep in mind that most people feel this way at some point when growing up.

  If you feel this way, the first thing you should know is: you're courageous. You’re brave enough to be someone that no one understands. You have the courage to live in a way that you want, despite what other people think. Acknowledge and celebrate your courage. When you feel like no one understands you, it’s easy to take it personally, but try not to. The fact that people don’t understand you may be because of how they have chosen to live their lives, not how you chose you to live your life. It might not be that no one at all understands you, but that no one you know understands you.   So, it may be a case of seeking out the people who do understand you. Your family, friends and community might not get you, but there will be people out there who get you, who understand the way you think and feel. You just need to find them.   You’ve got this.
At this point, you can’t stop thinking about someone, you’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time stalking their social media, and when you do actually talk to them you feel like your heart is about to explode. Congratulations, you have a crush.

What do you do next? Well, a good place to start is asking yourself: do you actually find the other person attractive? Like, really. So often we worry if they will find us attractive, that we don’t stop to wonder if we truly find them attractive. If you rather focus on what someone can give you, and then you decide if those are things you want, it could give you that vital breath of air before you drown in the sea of your own worries. In other words, it will give you a bit of power in a situation where you feel powerless.

The good news is there is someone who will find you attractive. The trick is to show them your most attractive self - the side of you that people closest to you know well. Generally, this is when you are comfortable, relaxed and calm. The hard part is staying calm when confronted with your crush.

Now before we get too carried away, we must acknowledge a sad reality: not everyone is going to find you attractive. Rejection happens to everyone, believe me. It is not just you, try not to take it too personally.

If that wasn’t bad enough, how we look can matter, and does have a large impact on whether we feel a ‘spark’ with someone. But not all hope is lost, because research shows our energy, and how we carry ourselves, makes a much more meaningful and long-lasting impression on others. Who would have thought?

In other words, to attract someone, being comfortable, and self-loving might just be the most important things you can do. Now, that sounds easier said than done, but seriously, finding someone who finds you attractive, for you, is important not only for the quality of the potential relationship, but also for your own happiness too. It’s normal to feel like you must change to impress someone, but to be attractive to someone, the first person you must impress is yourself. If you are happy with yourself, others will be too. It might be hard, I know, but it is a good place to start. If you are still feeling confused, maybe try out some of the resources below. They might just help.

Good luck!

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

poster-best-relationship

YouTube

Great
reads

Blogs

Looking for Alaska by
John Green
Miles meets Alaska Young, a gorgeous and clever girl who soon goes missing. Miles makes it his mission to find her, discovering the true meaning of friendship and companionship.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
This novel follows two lonely children, who create a magical forest kingdom in their imaginations, called Terabithia.

Faye's Blog This blog post talks about how the journey for love always starts with yourself.

Great
Films

The Fault in our Stars
A young cancer patient finds love with a fellow cancer patient. A story of finding love in the most unlikely place.

Monte Carlo
Three girls go away on holiday and find love whilst having an adventure in Monte Carlo.

HIghway School Musical
A movie about being yourself and finding love despite whatever your friends think.i

Spotify

If you have got a crush, boy,
is this the playlist for you!

What science says

Proximity plays a major role in creating attraction between two people; “Mere exposure to someone repeatedly increases the likelihood we will be attracted to them”, states J. Celeste Walley Jean, an associate professor of psychology at Clayton State University.

Research has also shown that body language is a powerful mechanism to attract others. Keeping your torso, chest and abdomen open to the world is the best way to show you are available. Clutching any object to your chest and crossing your arm are all ways we close off our body language to the world and seem unavailable. (scienceofpeople.com/attraction/)

Do opposites really attract? Scientific studies have proved people actually are NOT attracted to people opposite to them. Since 1950, social scientists have conducted nearly 250 studies to determine whether similarity in personality traits, interests, values, attitudes and other characteristics, leads to attraction. An irrefutable association between being similar and being interested in the other person was found, across cultures.

Places to find more resources

Would you like to get inspired about your life?

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If you would like to explore what’s going on for you today, then just jump on! You will be welcomed to a safe, warm, non-judgemental space where you can be yourself and uncover what is important to you. You have all the answers. Let us help you find your way.

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