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CONFIDENCE

Standing up for myself

Standing up for yourself is hard. When others disrespect you it’s hard to have to confidence to speak up and say how you feel. But hopefully these tips and resources will make it a bit easier.

You deserve to be heard. When people aren’t treating us right it is easy to keep quiet about it – we don’t want to ruin a friendship or a relationship, so we don’t say anything. The first thing you must realise is that your thoughts and feelings deserve to be heard. You deserve respect.

Don’t act just yet. You have been there – your angry or upset and say something you regret later. So, before you stand up for yourself think about how someone else would see the situation. Maybe they don't know they are hurting you. Think about the emotions you are experiencing, even write them down. The point is to give yourself time so that when you do stand up for yourself, you do it in the best way possible – cool, calm and considerate.

Don’t be too nasty, but don’t be too nice. Don’t personally attack the other person. In other words, don’t be awful and mean – don’t say things like “You are literally the worst person to ever be born” (unless that’s true). At the same time, don’t be too nice. Let them know their actions – intentional or not – are making you feel horrible. They should how you feel, and what they are doing to you is unacceptable.

Practice beforehand. Standing up to someone is scary. You might want to practice what you are going to say before you do it. Write your ideas down, practice front of the mirror, do whatever works for you. Feeling prepared will give you that much more confidence for when the big day comes.

Remember, you deserve to be heard.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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YouTube

Great
reads

The Gift Of Imperfection by Brené Brown
The purpose of this workbook is to help readers embrace their imperfections and accept themselves for who they are, rather than trying hard to live a fake life in a bid to impress others.

The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser
Put a stop to self-sabotage and overcome your fears so that you can gain the confidence you need to reach your goals and become your own best friend.

What's Right with Me by Carlene Deroo
Why You Are Good, Worthy, Wonderful, Beautiful, and Unique. You have dozens of wonderful qualities, traits great and small that make you capable, valuable, and worthy of love.

Great
Films

Napolean Dynamite
Napoleon, a socially awkward teenager, gets caught up in his dysfunctional family's misadventures while trying to help a friend win the class presidency.

Hidden Figures
Hidden Figures explores the story of a team of African-American mathematicians, working at NASA during the U.S space program and experiencing the sexism and racism of a male-dominated field.

Mean Girls
Cady joins a new public school and befriends Janis and Damian. They warn her to avoid the Plastics, a group led by Regina, but things get worse when she falls in love with Aaron, Regina's ex-lover.

Spotify

This playlist will make you feel like you can conquer the world.

Podcasts

The Verywell Mind Podcast with Amy Morin
This podcast is crammed full of practical discussions and advice on everything from confidence to self-doubt.

The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset
In this episode Jonny discusses chasing confidence and self-esteem. Sound familiar?

Confidence & Self Esteem Podcast
This episode discusses getting slightly out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself.

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