We have all been there, we wanted something to work out so badly, and in the end we were disappointed. We had great expectations, and we were greeted with mediocre results. Maybe you didn’t get the test results you wanted, or that person didn’t want to go on a second date. No matter what it is, we all have expectations for ourselves and our lives. It’s normal.
The problem is when our expectations are set so high that they become unrealistic. This leads to a lot of disappointment. So, to avoid being constantly disappointed by ourselves, others and our situation, we need to manage our expectations. Make sure they don’t get too out of hand.
Step one: be real. You need to be honest and realistic with yourself about what you can expect from the future. I am not saying “don’t be ambitious”. Work towards big goals, if you want, but be honest about how long it will realistically take to achieve those goals. It is easy to measure your life against successful people and feel disheartened. But remember, your life is not theirs – you have your own history and set of circumstances to deal with. Not everyone is going to graduate from Harvard at the age of 15. So be honest and gentle with yourself. Give yourself expectations that suit you, not other people.
Speaking of other people, the same goes for them. Set realistic expectations for others in your life, and they will be far less likely to disappoint you. Don’t let them walk all over you, but at the same time don’t hold them to standards you can’t achieve yourself.
Step two: be open to change. A lot of the time your expectations are not going to be met. Things change, and that’s okay. Next time your expectations are not met, pause and take a deep breath before you react. I know it’s frustrating to be disappointed but going with your gut reaction is not going to help in the long run. Instead, be aware of feeling frustrated, make a mental note of it, and give yourself time to cool off. This will give you a chance to respond to the unexpected change in a way that you’ll be proud of.
I think that’s it for now.
Goodluck.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
How Happiness Happens by Max Lucado
In this book Max shares the unexpected path to a lasting happiness, one that produces reliable joy in any season of life.
Normal People by Sally Rooney
This book follows two students who weave in and out of each other's romantic lives. They deal with expectations of themselves and others as they start to grow up.
What to Expect when having Expectations by Ben Winter
This book is about understanding where your expectations come from, what drives them, why you aren't always aware of them.
Great
Films
Jobs
Steve Jobs and his friend Steve Wozniak co-found Apple Inc. But as a leader and a visionary, Jobs's style of functioning creates several problems for him.
Legally Blonde
Elle gets enrolled in Harvard Law School, the same school as her ex-boyfriend in an effort to teach him a lesson and defy expectations.
(500) Days of Summer
Tom revisits the approximate one year he shared with Summer, the girl he thought he could spend the rest of his life with.
Spotify
To be honest, there are not many playlists about ‘managing expectations’, so instead, here is a playlist that will help make you feel great.
Podcasts
Managing Expectations
This podcast discusses different aspects of the two host's tribulations that come with expectations and what they mean to everyone.
Anything Goes
Thoughts, conversations, and advice on topics about her trials and tribulations of friendships.
Pray, Love, Grow
On this anniversary episode of Pray, Love, Grow, the host tell you how to curb your expectations of other people, accept who you are and what’s in front of you and grow from there
Places to find more resources
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