Being a “black sheep” in your family is really tough. You know you are a black sheep when your family excludes you, treats you differently to your siblings, make you feel worthless and don’t try to understand you. These experiences are painful, they can make you feel lonely, sad and isolated.
First things first, it’s not your fault. You have chosen to live outside of you what your family expects of you, that’s okay. You are one your own journey.
Here are a few things you can do to cope with being the black sheep:
Create your own family. In other words, find other people that will love and support like a family should. This could be friends, school mates, anyone who accepts you for who you are. You need support and you can find it elsewhere.
Speak up for yourself. If you haven’t tried already, let your family know how you feel. This takes courage, I know, but you shouldn’t let them treat you this way. Do it when you are feeling calm and focused. Bring up how you feel slowly and surely – if your family feels attacked, they are not going to respond well. If you feel too nervous to talk to them face to face, write them a letter explaining how you feel.
Give yourself space. Put boundaries in place so that you feel comfortable. Being comfortable might mean seeing your family less, or not talking about certain topics with them. Do want makes you feel better.
Give yourself time to heal. What you are going through is confusing and painful, acknowledge that. There is no problem with seeking out help from a therapist or a peer support group. Work on you.
Remember, you are still valuable no matter what. You have had the courage to be the person you want to be, despite what your family thinks. That is powerful. Use that power going forward.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
Orbiting Jupiter Gary D. Schmidt This is a book about a family who takes in a new child. It's hard and they learn a lot, but they get through it.
Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling This is obviously a classic series. If you haven't read it, now is the time. He might not be isolated, but Harry Potter has to deal with a lot of uncertainty. If you not that into reading, this is the easy read you need.
Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings by Mary Lamia, PhD
This will help you understand your emotions and who you are, how you appear to others, and what you can be. While your emotional life may feel out of control, your emotions are valuable. It's time to figure just what your emotions are telling you!
Chiron, a young African-American boy, finds guidance in Juan, a drug dealer, who teaches him to carve his own path. As he grows up in Miami, Juan's advice leaves a lasting impression on him.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
If you haven't watched it by now, it is time - it's a classic. Harry's adopted family treat him horribly
Kubo and the Two Strings An film of epic proportions. It's a classic tale of good vs evil. The animation is breathtaking and the story pulls you in all directions.
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