Being a “black sheep” in your family is really tough. You know you are a black sheep when your family excludes you, treats you differently to your siblings, make you feel worthless and don’t try to understand you. These experiences are painful, they can make you feel lonely, depressed and isolated.
First things first, it’s not your fault. You have chosen to live outside of you what your family expects of you, that’s okay. You are one your own journey.
Here are a few things you can do to cope with being the black sheep:
Create your own family. In other words, find other people that will love and support like a family should. This could be friends, an online community, anyone who accepts you for who you are. You need support and you can find it elsewhere.
Speak up for yourself. If you haven’t tried already, let your family know how you feel. This takes courage, I know, but you shouldn’t let them treat you this way. Do it when you are feeling calm and focused. Bring up how you feel slowly and surely – if your family feels attacked, they are not going to respond well. If you feel too nervous to talk to them face to face, write them a letter explaining how you feel.
Give yourself space. Put boundaries in place so that you feel comfortable. Being comfortable might mean seeing your family less, or not talking about certain topics with them. Do want makes you feel better.
Give yourself time to heal. What you are going through is confusing and painful, acknowledge that. There is no problem with seeking out help from a therapist or a peer support group. Work on you.
Remember, you are still valuable no matter what. You have had the courage to be the person you want to be, despite what your family thinks. That is powerful. Use that power going forward.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Healing the Hurting Soul: A Survival Manual for the Black Sheep in Every Family by Louis Wynne This book portrays all the members of the family, including the black sheep, as trying to do the best they can in the face of trauma, secrecy, and unspoken family rules.
The Black Sheep by Yvonne Collins
Reality has never been so complicated. Fed up with her parents and all their ridiculous rules, fifteen-year-old Kendra Bishop writes to The Black Sheep, a reality TV show that offers the chance to swap families with another teen.
Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling This is obviously a classic series. If you haven't read it, now is the time. He might not be isolated, but Harry Potter has to deal with a lot of uncertainty. If you not that into reading, this is the easy read you need.
Chiron, a young African-American boy, finds guidance in Juan, a drug dealer, who teaches him to carve his own path. As he grows up in Miami, Juan's advice leaves a lasting impression on him.
Billy Elliot The life of 11-year-old Billy Elliot, a coal miner's son in Northern England, is forever changed one day when he stumbles upon a ballet class during his weekly boxing lesson.
Kubo and the Two Strings An film of epic proportions. It's a classic tale of good vs evil. The animation is breathtaking and the story pulls you in all directions.
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