Being a “black sheep” in your family is really tough. You know you are a black sheep when your family excludes you, treats you differently to your siblings, make you feel worthless and don’t try to understand you. These experiences are painful, they can make you feel lonely, depressed and isolated.
First things first, it’s not your fault. You have chosen to live outside of you what your family expects of you, that’s okay. You are one your own journey.
Here are a few things you can do to cope with being the black sheep:
Create your own family. In other words, find other people that will love and support like a family should. This could be friends, an online community, anyone who accepts you for who you are. You need support and you can find it elsewhere.
Speak up for yourself. If you haven’t tried already, let your family know how you feel. This takes courage, I know, but you shouldn’t let them treat you this way. Do it when you are feeling calm and focused. Bring up how you feel slowly and surely – if your family feels attacked, they are not going to respond well. If you feel too nervous to talk to them face to face, write them a letter explaining how you feel.
Give yourself space. Put boundaries in place so that you feel comfortable. Being comfortable might mean seeing your family less, or not talking about certain topics with them. Do want makes you feel better.
Give yourself time to heal. What you are going through is confusing and painful, acknowledge that. There is no problem with seeking out help from a therapist or a peer support group. Work on you.
Remember, you are still valuable no matter what. You have had the courage to be the person you want to be, despite what your family thinks. That is powerful. Use that power going forward.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Healing the Hurting Soul: A Survival Manual for the Black Sheep in Every Family by Louis Wynne This book portrays all the members of the family, including the black sheep, as trying to do the best they can in the face of trauma, secrecy, and unspoken family rules.
Black Sheep of the Famly: A True Story of My Grandmother's Life Eleanor Werkheiser
A real-life Cinderella, the beautiful New Jersey native was treated unkindly by her two sisters. But their ugliness could never change who she was deep down: a genuinely kind and caring person.
The Black Sheep (La Rabouilleuse)
Novel by Honoré de Balzac
The story of a true black sheep. A girl from paris moves is sent by her father to live with her relatives. As she grows up it becomes clear that she doesn't quite fit in.
Chiron, a young African-American boy, finds guidance in Juan, a drug dealer, who teaches him to carve his own path. As he grows up in Miami, Juan's advice leaves a lasting impression on him.
Our Idiot Bother Easygoing, Ned Rochlin makes the biggest mistake of his so-far uninspired life when he sells some pot to a cop. Homeless and jobless upon his release from jail, Ned must prevail upon his three sisters for help.
Kubo and the Two Strings An film of epic proportions. It's a classic tale of good vs evil. The animation is breathtaking and the story pulls you in all directions.
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