Competing and being compared to my brothers and sisters
Being compared to anyone is never fun but being compared to a sibling is the worst. It feels so personal, and inescapable. Being compared to a sibling makes you feel like you are living in a continual competition, and if you are losing in the competition, your self-esteem takes a real blow.
If this is happening to you know that it is not your fault. Your parents most probably have unresolved issues of their own that are making them do this to you. You don’t have to feel inadequate because of your parents’ flaws. They are broken, not you.
If possible, you need to speak your parents about it. This will take courage. They need to know how they are making you feel. If you feel like they won’t listen to you, speak to your siblings about it, they probably feel the same way. If you and your siblings can sit down with your parents and talk about it, your parents are more likely to listen.
If your parents won’t listen, work on yourself. Think about how being compare makes you feel. Write a list. There is probably a million and one stories that you have started telling yourself because of being compared. For example, “I am not good enough”. You need to kick back against this narrative and make a habit of kicking back. When you catch yourself mentally bringing yourself down, do the opposite, say “No, I am good enough, no matter what my parents say”. Keep practicing this.
Remember, your life is own. The path you take is unique. You will be different, and you will achieve different things at different stages. Accept that. This is your journey and no one else’s. If you feel proud of you have done, that is all that matters.
Hang in there.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
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