Having a parent that doesn’t love you must be one of the hardest things you can go through, no matter how old you are. So much of your self-worth comes from your parents. If you don’t feel loved by your parents, know this: it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Your parents have not addressed their own problems, now they are taking it out on you. That doesn't mean you don’t deserve to be loved; it just means they don’t know how to love.
You haven’t failed them, they failed you.
If you need to get some space from your parents, talk to someone you trust. If you can, talk to a friend, counsellor, family member, or anyone who will listen. This will take courage but telling others will help you cope and heal.
Remember they are hurt, so don’t let them hurt you. Just because your parents are broken doesn’t mean they can break you. Make changes in your life that mean they can no longer hurt you. It could simply mean speaking to them about it, or even cutting them out of your life. You will know what is best for you.
Be kind to yourself. In this situation, it is so important. Your parents obviously don’t have your back, so you need to have your own. Be your own parent. Love yourself like they should’ve loved you. If your parents are against you, don’t make things harder by being harsh on yourself. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the way you are.
If your parents don’t love you, they probably have said many hurtful things to you. What’s worse, is that you have probably started believing those things. Write down everything negative that you tell yourself about who you are; see if those statements come from your parents. Then start replacing those statements with positive ones. For example, “I am stupid, and I can’t do anything” can be replaced with “I can achieve anything I just put my mind to it”. Make a habit of thinking those positive statements every time you find yourself being negative. This habit will take time to form, be patient.
Turn to others. There are other people who care about you or will care about you. Find them. There are people who have had the same experience. Find them. It doesn't matter if it’s in real life or online, there are people who will support you.
Don’t settle for anything less than love.
You deserve better.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
Orbiting Jupiter Gary D. Schmidt
This is a book about a family who takes in a new child. It's hard and they learn a lot, but they get through it.
Whole Again by Jackson MacKenzie
From a leading voice on recovering from toxic relationships, a deeply insightful guide to getting back to your "old self" again - in order to truly heal and move on.
Running on Empty by Christine Musello and Jonice Webb
This book is for those who feel disconnected from themselves, their friends and family. Those who feel imperfect, and censure themselves. This book will show you how to come to terms with that, empower yourself and move forward.
Great
Films
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
If you haven't watched it by now, it is time - it's a classic. Harry's adopted family treat him horribly
Capernaum
A young boy runs away from his house after his parents marry off his underage sister. Later, he sues them in court for bringing him into the world.
Boyhood
After MJ's parents' divorce, he and his sister Samantha live with their mother, whereas the father has visiting rights. Incidents that occur across a period of twelve years mould MJ's life.
Spotify
This playlists is going to help you get your frustrations out
Places to find more resources
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