Having a parent that doesn’t love you must be one of the hardest things you can go through, no matter how old you are. So much of your self-worth comes from your parents. If you don’t feel loved by your parents, know this: it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Your parents have not addressed their own problems, now they are taking it out on you. That doesn't mean you don’t deserve to be loved; it just means they don’t know how to love.
You haven’t failed them, they failed you.
If you need to get some space from your parents, talk to someone you trust. If you can, talk to a friend, counsellor, family member, or anyone who will listen. This will take courage but telling others will help you cope and heal.
Remember they are hurt, so don’t let them hurt you. Just because your parents are broken doesn’t mean they can break you. Make changes in your life that mean they can no longer hurt you. It could simply mean speaking to them about it, or even cutting them out of your life. You will know what is best for you.
Be kind to yourself. In this situation, it is so important. Your parents obviously don’t have your back, so you need to have your own. Be your own parent. Love yourself like they should’ve loved you. If your parents are against you, don’t make things harder by being harsh on yourself. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the way you are.
If your parents don’t love you, they probably have said many hurtful things to you. What’s worse, is that you have probably started believing those things. Write down everything negative that you tell yourself about who you are; see if those statements come from your parents. Then start replacing those statements with positive ones. For example, “I am stupid, and I can’t do anything” can be replaced with “I can achieve anything I just put my mind to it”. Make a habit of thinking those positive statements every time you find yourself being negative. This habit will take time to form, be patient.
Turn to others. There are other people who care about you or will care about you. Find them. There are people who have had the same experience. Find them. It doesn't matter if it’s in real life or online, there are people who will support you.
Don’t settle for anything less than love.
You deserve better.
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