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FAMILY

Moving between two homes

Moving between two homes can be tricky, and if it is not done right, it can become emotionally exhausting. If your parents are separated, you know the feeling. Here are some things you can do to make the whole process a little easier.

When your parents split up, you’re going to experience a whirlwind of emotions, sadness, worry, anger or even relief. This is normal and expected. It will take time to process these emotions. Be patient, and don’t blame yourself for feeling this way.

Remember it is not always about love. Sometimes you are going to have to stay at one parent more than the other. This doesn’t necessarily mean that one of them loves you more than the other. Sometimes it’s because of practical reasons like their house is closer to your school, or university, or they might have to go away for work. Keep this in mind. Also, don’t let one of your parents make you feel like you’re loved less, or worthless, if this is happening to you.

Make yourself comfortable at both homes. If you can, make a space for yourself in each home where you feel comfortable. Bring items that you feel comfortable – like a book, your laptop, or a bike – every time you move between your homes.

Communicate. Tell your parents what makes you feel comfortable or uncomfortable. If they are asking too many questions about your life at the other house, tell them to slow down. If you feel unsure about coming to theirs, tell them why. Communicating with your parents will help relieve stress, but also help your parents make it the best experience for you as possible.

Moving back and forth like this can be stressful and confusing. No matter how hard it gets, be open and honest and take care of yourself as best you can.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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Great
reads

What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen
This book is based on a girl whose parents’ marriage has recently imploded in light of her mother’s affair, making it feel like life she’d known before doesn’t exist anymore.

Split in Two: Keeping it Together by Karen Buscemi
This book is a valuable resource guide to help teens feel less crazed and confused, and more self-confident during the transition of their parents splitting.

The Adults: A Novel by Caroline Hulse
Claire and Matt are no longer together but decide that it would be best for their daughter, Scarlett, to have a “normal” family Christmas.

Great
Films

Mrs. Doubtfire
Daniel, a divorced actor, disguises himself as Mrs Doubtfire, an ageing female Scottish housekeeper, in order to work in his ex-wife's house and spend more time with his children.

The Squid and the Whale
Although the Berkman family appears to be an ideal one, they live a disjointed life. When the parents get separated, the children must deal with the trauma.

Boyhood
After MJ's parents' divorce, he and his sister Samantha live with their mother, whereas the father has visiting rights. Incidents that occur across a period of twelve years mould MJ's life.

Spotify

As hard as this transition is, in the end, everything is gonna work out - so here is a playlist to remind you of that.

Podcasts

Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain
Emma shares her thoughts, conversations, and advice on topics from relationships and dealing with failure.

Restored" Helping Children of Divorce
Emily knew her parents might divorce, but nothing could’ve prepared her for it. It made her feel alone. It made her feel like nobody understood.

Adult Children of Divorce
Jen Abbas and Elizabeth Marquardt, both adult children of divorce, talk about the emotional reality of divorce for children

Places to find more resources

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