Your parents splitting up is confusing, to say the least. Know that it is not your fault; your parents have decided what’s best for them. Although everything is changing right now, in time everything will be okay.
When your parents split up, you’re going to experience a whirlwind of emotions, sadness, worry, anger or even relief. This is normal and expected. It will take time to process these emotions. Be patient, and don’t blame yourself for feeling this way.
You might want to ask your parents some questions about what is going to happen. For example, who will you live with in the future? When will you see the other parent? How are you daily routines going to change? It is good to know this stuff before any big changes happen.
Remember, this can be a painful process; it will take time to come to terms with what has happened. Give yourself time to adjust and heal.
Here are some things you can help you deal with the change:
Focus on your goals. Make sure that you have something to forward to. It can be a massive goal or a tiny one. As long as you care about it, that’s all that matters.
Let it all out. Don’t bottle up your emotions. Share your thoughts and feelings with people you trust.
Do things you enjoy. This period can be filled with a lot of worry; make sure you give yourself a break from it all.
Have a chat. If you feel comfortable enough, talk to your parents about your worries and frustrations.
Ask questions. Asking your parents about what is happening is more than okay. You deserve to know what’s going on.
Stick to your routines. A lot is going to change; try and keep doing what you normally do -seeing friends, sports, whatever you enjoy.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen This book is based on a girl whose parents’ marriage has recently imploded in light of her mother’s affair, making it feel like life she’d known before doesn’t exist anymore.
Split in Two: Keeping it Together by Karen Buscemi
This book is a valuable resource guide to help teens feel less crazed and confused, and more self-confident during the transition of their parents splitting.
The Adults: A Novel by Caroline Hulse
Claire and Matt are no longer together but decide that it would be best for their daughter, Scarlett, to have a “normal” family Christmas.
Daniel, a divorced actor, disguises himself as Mrs Doubtfire, an ageing female Scottish housekeeper, in order to work in his ex-wife's house and spend more time with his children.
The Squid and the Whale Although the Berkman family appears to be an ideal one, they live a disjointed life. When the parents get separated, the children must deal with the trauma.
After MJ's parents' divorce, he and his sister Samantha live with their mother, whereas the father has visiting rights. Incidents that occur across a period of twelve years mould MJ's life.
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