Sometimes your plans for your life just don’t work out. Unexpected things - like a major accident or moving cities - happen and change the course of your life. Suddenly, you’re forced to let go of your future plans. You lose everything you hoped and dreamed of. This loss is hard to deal with. You can feel disorientated, disheartened and even hopeless. All you can do is cope and adjust. Here are some things you can do to cope a bit better:
Accept what you can’t change. When your plans for the future are affected, there will always be things that can and can’t change. Often you feel you can or could have done things differently. Sadly, what is done, is done. You must accept that. There are some things you cannot change. Don’t get weighed down by what could, should, or would have happened.
Realise it’s not over. Just because you’ve plans cannot happen anymore doesn’t mean your life is over. Yes, certain plans you had for the future are over, but your life isn’t. You will make new plans, find a new direction and find hope. There will be another way forward.
Give yourself time to grieve. As with any loss, you need to feel sad about what you lost. You would have been excited about plans for the future. Now that is gone, and it hurts. Give yourself a chance to be hurt. It will help you heal and move forward.
Find support. Reach out to some you can trust. It could be a friend, family, or a therapist. If you feel comfortable, tell them what you are going through. Make sure that they’re a good listener. This is a hard time, and it will only be harder if you try to deal with it alone. There is no shame in getting support - it takes courage to share what you are facing.
Imagine a new life for yourself. Try your best to imagine a new life for yourself. This might take time, don’t rush yourself. When you are comfortable again, think about what you want. Imagine a future that you’d be content with, as hard as that might be. The smallest amount of hope can go a long way.
You’ll get there.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
Emotions!: Making Sense of Your Emotions by Mary C. Lamia
This book will help you understand your emotions and gain powerful insight into who you are, how you appear to others, and what you can be.
Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner
This book will teach you a specific set of skills that makes it easier to face - and overcome - worries and fears.
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
Did you know that worries are like tomatoes? No, you can't eat them, but you can make them grow, simply by paying attention to them. If your worries have grown so big that they bother you almost every day, this book is for you.
Great
Films
Inside Out
Eleven-year-old Riley moves to San Francisco, leaving behind her life in Minnesota. She and her five core emotions, Fear, Anger, Joy, Disgust and Sadness, struggle to cope with her new life.
The Breadwinner
Parvana and her family live in Kabul, which is ruled by the Talibans. After her father gets arrested, she is forced to disguise herself as a boy in order to earn money for her family.
Coco
Miguel pursues his love for singing in spite of his family's ban on music. He stumbles into the Land of the Dead, where he learns about his great-great-grandfather who was a legendary singer.
Spotify
This playlist will make things a little bit better, even just for a moment.
Places to find more resources
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