Sometimes your plans for your life just don’t work out. Unexpected things - like a major accident or moving cities - happen and change the course of your life. Suddenly, you’re forced to let go of your future plans. You lose everything you hoped and dreamed of. This loss is hard to deal with. You can feel disorientated, disheartened and even hopeless. All you can do is cope and adjust. Here are some things you can do to cope a bit better:
Accept what you can’t change. When your plans for the future are affected, there will always be things that can and can’t change. Often you feel you can or could have done things differently. Sadly, what is done, is done. You must accept that. There are some things you cannot change. Don’t get weighed down by what could, should, or would have happened.
Realise it’s not over. Just because you’ve plans cannot happen anymore doesn’t mean your life is over. Yes, certain plans you had for the future are over, but your life isn’t. You will make new plans, find a new direction and find hope. There will be another way forward.
Give yourself time to grieve. As with any loss, you need to feel sad about what you lost. You would have been excited about plans for the future. Now that is gone, and it hurts. Give yourself a chance to be hurt. It will help you heal and move forward.
Find support. Reach out to some you can trust. It could be a friend, family, or a therapist. If you feel comfortable, tell them what you are going through. Make sure that they’re a good listener. This is a hard time, and it will only be harder if you try to deal with it alone. There is no shame in getting support - it takes courage to share what you are facing.
Imagine a new life for yourself. Try your best to imagine a new life for yourself. This might take time, don’t rush yourself. When you are comfortable again, think about what you want. Imagine a future that you’d be content with, as hard as that might be. The smallest amount of hope can go a long way.
You’ll get there.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
John and Joan saw their daughter fall ill and placed on life support. Days later, the Dunnes were sitting down to dinner when John suffered a massive and fatal coronary. This book is about Joan navigating her way through this time.
The Principles of Uncertainty by Maira Kalman
An irresistible invitation to experience life through a beloved artist's psyche, The Principles of Uncertainty is a compilation of Maira Kalman's New York Times columns.
Thriving Through Uncertainty by Tama Kieves
This book isn't just about getting through life changes, it'll teach you to use that change and uncertainty as a launching pad for joy. It proves that the moment your plans fall apart is precisely when your true destiny begins.
Great
Films
The Bucket List
Two terminally ill men left with only six months to live, decide to explore life and make a bucket list comprising all the things they have never tried before.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
A man living a dull life dreams up romantic and when his own job is threatened, he sets out on a real romantic and action-packed journey.
The Pursuit of Happyness
Will Smith is in pursuit of many things in this movie: a career, a salary, a home, and a family. He’s in pursuit of a full life.
Spotify
This playlist will make things a little bit better, even just for a moment.
Places to find more resources
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