Someone close to you might have lost a family member, or a pet, or a friend. They are grieving - they feel intensely upset about what has happened. They most probably need your support and comfort. You might never have been in this position or are just unsure what to do. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Don’t be scared. Often when someone is grieving, you’re worried you’ll say or do the wrong thing. Don’t let that worry stop you from supporting them. What is more important is that you are there for them. Just do the best you can.
Listen first. Someone grieving is experiencing a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Don’t guess what they want or need. Listen to what they are feeling first. Make sure they feel understood and heard before you start trying to “fix things”.
Remember everyone is different. Someone might not grieve in the way you expect, or for as long as you expect. Be ready for this. Let them grieve in their own way. Let them take as much time as they need. Don’t force or rush them. Be patient, be understanding.
Be empathetic not sympathetic. Don’t dismiss their feelings by trying to be positive. Saying stuff like “They are in a better place now”, “Or at least____didn’t happen”, “Cheer up, things will get better” might not make someone feel comforted at all. Instead, listen to what they have to say, affirm their feelings and acknowledge their pain.
Offer help. It could be shopping for them, carrying their books to class, or spending the night at their place. Do what you can to help in any way. Someone grieving might not be able to cope with daily life. Helping out in practical ways could be exactly what they need right now.
Hang in there.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
by Joanne Cacciatore
If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human.
Modern Loss by Gabrielle Birkner and Rebecca Soffer
This book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss.
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
Book by Megan Devine
When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief.
Great
Films
Coco
Miguel pursues his love for singing in spite of his family's ban on music. He stumbles into the Land of the Dead, where he learns about his great-great-grandfather who was a legendary singer.
Blended
Not about loss. But a cute feel good movie. After a terrible blind date, Jim and Lauren find themselves stranded at a resort together with their respective children. However, the two soon start developing feelings for each other.
Big Hero 6
Hiro, a robotics prodigy, joins hands with Baymax in order to avenge his brother's death. They then team up with Hiro's friends to form a team of high-tech heroes.
Spotify
This playlist will make things a little bit better, even just for a moment.
Podcasts
Grief Out Loud
Grief Out Loud is opening up this often avoided conversation because grief is hard enough without having to go through it alone.
What's Your Grief Podcast
This podcast seeks to leave no stone unturned in demystifying the complicated and sometimes crazy experience of living life after loss.
The Grief Coach
Brooke has created a space she needed but could not find—one that respects profound loss and the practicality of needing to make decisions in heartbreak.
Places to find more resources
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