Attracting someone can be exciting, but normally it's a nightmare. Movies make it look easy, but in real life, it doesn’t feel like that at all. For the most part, there are a lot of nerves and worry. (A lot of worry). But fear not, we are here to help. Below, you’ll find movies, books, and other resources to guide you in your quest to secure long-lasting love… or maybe just a first date.
At this point, you can’t stop thinking about someone, you’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time stalking their social media, and when you do actually talk to them you feel like your heart is about to explode. Congratulations, you have a crush.
What the hell do you do next? Well, a good place to start is asking yourself: do you actually find the other person attractive? Like, really. So often we worry if they will find us attractive, that we don’t stop to wonder if we truly find them attractive. If you rather focus on what someone can give you, and then you decide if those are things you want, it could give you that vital breath of air before you drown in the sea of your own worries. In other words, it will give you a bit of power in a situation where you feel powerless. We can also easily get caught up in the looks of our crush instead of who they actually are, remember you could just be liking the idea of them instead of the real them.
The good news is there is someone who will find you attractive. The trick is to show them your most attractive self - the side of you that people closest to you know well. Generally, this is when you are comfortable, relaxed and calm. The most genuine you. The hard part is staying calm when confronted with your crush.
Now before we get too carried away, we must acknowledge a sad reality: not everyone is going to find you attractive. Rejection happens to everyone, believe me. It is not just you, try not to take it too personally.
If that wasn’t bad enough, how we look can matter, and does have a large impact on whether we feel a ‘spark’ with someone. But not all hope is lost, because research shows our energy, and how we carry ourselves, makes a much more meaningful and long-lasting impression on others. Who would have thought?
In other words, to attract someone, being comfortable, and self-loving might just be the most important things you can do. Now, that sounds easier said than done, but seriously, finding someone who finds you attractive, for you, is important not only for the quality of the potential relationship, but also for your own happiness too. It’s normal to feel like you must change to impress someone, but to be attractive to someone, the first person you must impress is yourself. If you are happy with yourself, others will be too. It might be hard, I know, but it is a good place to start.
If you are still feeling confused, maybe try out some of the resources below. They might just help.