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FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

Breaking Up

Breakups are never easy; no matter who ended the relationship, or how messy the breakup becomes, losing someone close to you will always hurt. Nothing can stop the pain all together, however, here are a few techniques to make healing a little easier. 

Give yourself time: You are the top priority. It’s okay to be selfish when you really need it, and actually really important to put yourself first during this mentally tumultuous time. No matter the length or level of commitment of the relationship, it’s completely normal to grieve losing a romantic connection. There’s no step-by-step guide to recovering from a breakup, it’s different for everyone, and it’s important to not shame yourself for taking the time to heal.

Self-care: Be kind to yourself. This could mean retail therapy, reading, meeting up with friends, or even just allowing yourself to skip out on commitments like school or work – self-care means something different to everyone. Treat yourself as if you were helping a friend through a breakup.

Rediscover yourself: So much of our identity can become wrapped up in our relationship. We define ourselves as so-and-so’s partner and become comfortable occupying social situations together. Reclaiming a sense of self away from that person is an integral part of the healing process; spend time on your hobbies or interests and start appreciating the characteristics and values that make you, you. As awful as a breakup can be, it is an opportunity to rediscover parts of life and yourself that might have been neglected.

Distance yourself: Try and limit contact with that person, at least for the first few days after a breakup. Time is key to healing; maybe you will be friends with them again someday, but for now give yourself space to come terms with what happened. Distancing yourself might mean deleting their number, blocking them, or even just staying off social media for a bit. What is important is that you process your emotions, get used to living without constant contact with them, and help you fight the immense urge not to reach out to your ex.

Deal with the anger: Anger is part of the grieving of. It shields you from the pain and emotions of losing someone close to you. Whether this anger is justified, or irrational, dealing with the underlying emotions can help you move on and loosen the psychological grip that your ex might have on your life.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

YouTube

Great
reads

Our Chemical Romance by Krystal Sutherland
First love can be amazing, life-changing, a dream come true—and it can also be an epic disaster. Krystal Sutherland captures the all-consuming nature of first love—and first heartache.

An Abundance of Catherines by John Green
Sometimes finding love isn’t as much of an issue as keeping it. Colin who has dated nineteen girls. All named Katherine—and all of whom have dumped him (yeah, you thought your love life was bad)

Like No Other by Una Lamarche
A modern day Romeo and Juliet - a bit of love, a bit of heartbreak. Sounds good to me!

Great
Films

Moonrise Kingdom
Two young lovers run away into the wilderness. Soon, the whole town begins to hunt for them. Don't get any ideas...

To All the Boys I I've Loved Before
A girl's love letters are leaked to the rest of school. Chaos ensues. Hope you are ready for this one

Bridge to Terabithia
Two lonely children create a magical forest kingdom in their imaginations, called Terabithia.

Spotify

This playlist right here is going to help you get through the pain.
Hang in there!

What science says

Science says most people breakup for these eight reasons; they wanted to be more independent, they didn't have similar interests, a lack of openness, a lack of support, a lack of loyalty, a lack of time spent together, a lack of fairness, or a lack of romance. Was this your relationship?

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