Rejection sucks. And although it hurts like hell, remember that there is something good in rejection: knowing that you had the courage to put yourself out there – not many people do!
The possibility of rejection awaits around every corner – doesn’t matter if it’s at work, school, or in a relationship. At some point in our lives, we all get blindsided by it, so the best thing to do is to not try to avoid rejection, but instead, work on how we deal with rejection.
This takes practice. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not a quick fix to getting rid of the pain. But with work, the sting of rejection will fade, and most importantly, you will grow stronger.
So, here are few things that you can do to deal with rejection in a positive and productive way:
One: try not to take things too personally. It’s easy feel like we are the sole reason why we got rejected in the first place. Right now, your brain is probably telling you exactly why you are the worst person in the world. But it is important focus on reasons that explain why you were rejected, that don’t have anything do to you.
So, say you got fired and feel like you weren’t good at the job. Well, maybe your employer is struggling to make money, because the economy is in a tight spot. Or maybe you weren’t the best fit for that company’s culture, but you’ll be brilliant elsewhere. Once you have found a reason that has nothing to do with you, remind yourself of this as much as you can. Often rejection is not a reflection of you, but rather the person doing the rejecting. Don’t blame yourself.
Two: Once you get into the habit of reminding yourself that not everything is about you when it comes to rejection, you need to come to terms with the emotions you’re feeling. You’re going to feel hurt and stressed, but the best thing you can do is sit with the feeling, get on with your day, and remind yourself that these feelings are only temporary. Don’t try and suppress your emotions. This has been shown to make the emotions affect you even more, and it may take longer for you to adjust or recover. Try to sit with the feeling, do something you enjoy, and not get too wrapped in your thoughts.
Remember, that you are going to be rejected time and time again. It happens to everyone. Being someone who can overcome rejection says more about you, than being someone who was rejected in the first place. Be patient with yourself. Things will get better.
We have provided some resources below to help you on your journey.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
Here are some things that can help you with that.
YouTube
Great
reads
How To Be a Person In The World by Heather Havrilesky
A hilarious, frank and witty collection of responses from the “Ask Polly” column in 'The Cut'. From toxic relationships, to breakups, this book deals with all the modern challenges of being a young adult in the world.
Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani
Reshma Saujani shows what our lives would be like, if we lived without the fear of not being good enough. Saujani states we live under the constant weight of our own expectations, aiming to please everyone and avoid rejection at all costs.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
This is a memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love while you are at it.
Great
Films
The Pursuit of Happyness
A father will do anything to make sure his son has a happy life. But this means he has to be rejected again, again, and again.
Boyhood
After MJ's parents' divorce, he and his sister Samantha live with their mother, whereas the father has visiting rights. Incidents that occur across a period of twelve years mould MJ's life.
Love, Simon
Simon Spier keeps his sexual orientation a secret from his family. However, when a blackmailer threatens to reveal it, he goes on a roller-coaster journey to come to terms with his identity.
Spotify
Turns out a whole bunch of music artists have been rejected too. You can find all their songs about dealing with rejection above
Podcasts
We Regret to Inform You
This podcast explores fascinating stories on debilitating career rejection and the hidden message behind each one. At its heart, this podcast is about persistence and inspiration.
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Hussey is the World’s #1 Dating Expert for women. In each episode of Love Life, you’ll get tips to improve all of your relationships – especially the relationship you have with yourself.
Modern Love
Jay Shetty focuses on different topics each episode in regards to self worth and making your life happier with your relationships, work and spirituality.
What science says
A study done by the University of Michigan discovered that rejection activates the same parts of our brain as physical pain. According to psychologist Guy Winch, this suggests an evolutionary advantage to experiencing rejection because it is like an an alert system when we are in danger.
Places to find more resources
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