Rejection sucks. And although it hurts like hell, remember that there is something good in rejection: knowing that you had the courage to put yourself out there – not many people do!
The possibility of rejection awaits around every corner – doesn’t matter if it’s at work, school, or in a relationship. At some point in our lives, we all get blindsided by it, so the best thing to do is not to try to avoid rejection, but instead, work on how we deal with rejection.
This takes practice. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not a quick fix to getting rid of the pain. But with work, the sting of rejection will fade, and most importantly, you will grow stronger.
So, here are few things that you can do to deal with rejection in a positive and productive way:
One: try not to take things too personally. It’s easy feel like we are the sole reason why we got rejected in the first place. Right now, your brain is probably telling you exactly why you are the worst person in the world. But it is important focus on reasons that explain why you were rejected, that don’t have anything do to you.
So, say you got fired and feel like you weren’t good at the job. Well, maybe your employer is struggling to make money, because the economy is in tight spot. Or maybe you weren’t the best fit for that company’s culture, but you’ll be brilliant elsewhere. Once you have found a reason that has nothing to do with you, remind of yourself it as much as you can. Often rejection is not a reflection of you, but rather the person doing the rejecting. Don’t blame yourself.
Two: Once you get into the habit of reminding yourself that not everything is about you when it comes to rejection, you need to come to terms with the emotions you’re feeling. You’re going to feel hurt and stressed, but the best thing you can do is sit with the feeling, get on with your day, and remind yourself that these feelings are only temporary. Don’t try and suppress your emotions. This has been shown to make the emotions affect you even more, and it may take longer for you to adjust or recover. Try to sit with the feeling, do something you enjoy, and not get too wrapped in your thoughts.
Remember, that you are going to be rejected time and time again. It happens to everyone. Being someone who can overcome rejection says more about you, than being someone who was rejected in the first place. Be patient with yourself. Things will get better.
We have provided some resources below to help you on your journey.
Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!
How To Be a Person In The World by Heather Havrilesky A hilarious, frank and witty collection of responses from the “Ask Polly” column in New York magazine’s The Cut. From toxic relationships, to breakups, this book deals with all the modern challenges of being a young adult in the world.
Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani
Reshma Saujani shows what our lives would be like, if we lived without the fear of not being good enough. Saujani states we live under the constant weight of our own expectations, aiming to please everyone and avoid rejection at all costs.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
This is a memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love while you are at it.
Grappling with the breakdown of his divorce, Theodore falls for an AI. It's a beautiful film, trust me.
500 Days of Summer Tom remembers the one year he shared with Summer, his ex-girlfriend whom he believed he would eventually marry. This romance explores unrequited love and expectations in young adult relationships.
Les Miserables This one is for the musical lovers. It is an epic set in France, there is love, rejection and Anne Hathaway. Does it get any better than that?
We Regret to Inform You
This podcast explores fascinating stories on debilitating career rejection and the hidden message behind each one. At its heart, this podcast is about persistence and inspiration.
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Hussey is the World’s #1 Dating Expert for women. In each episode of Love Life, you’ll get tips to improve all of your relationships – especially the relationship you have with yourself.
Jay Shetty focuses on different topics each episode in regards to self worth and making your life happier with your relationships, work and spirituality.
What science says
A study done by the University of Michigan discovered that rejection activates the same parts of our brain as physical pain. According to psychologist Guy Winch, this suggests an evolutionary advantage to experiencing rejection because it is like an an alert system when we are in danger.
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