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FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

Moving on - heartbreak

There's no way to avoid heartbreak. It's just part of falling in love. In the moment, it's easy to feel as if all hope is lost and swear to never date again - however, it's important to remind yourself this feeling is temporary. Whether it's a rough break-up, rejection of unrequited love or loss of a platonic relationship, feelings of shock, dejection and grief are all part of heartbreak. Everyone goes through heartbreak and although there is no textbook, sure-fire ways to get over this feeling, here are some resources that might ease the pain.

Give yourself time to grieve your past relationship; it's no use suppressing the memories made with that person - it's healthier to embrace and look back on the relationship with appreciation. Sure, relationships have their ups and downs, but connection and intimacy stimulate self-growth and improvement. Holding in the feelings of hurt and rejection only prolong the healing process. It's important to express yourself openly with friends or family to move on.

In the age of social media, it's easy to get hung up on every update or new post by your ex. This can make it hard to move on, and though the temptation is strong, blocking or just staying away from that person's social media profile really helps in getting over a relationship.

Come to terms with the fact that this is the end; denial is the first stage of grief, and it's a natural coping mechanism to make yourself believe that this is just a temporary setback, and there is still a future for you and this person. It's important to remember that if you and this person are meant to be together, you will be. There’s always potential to rekindle the relationship, but be careful, this mindset may prevent you from healing and moving on from the initial heartbreak. Focus on what is best for you in this stage of your life.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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YouTube

Great
reads

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
Pema Chödrön shows that moving towards, rather than away, from pain, can open us up to growth, healing and love.

Breath by Tim Winton
Breath is a story about the wildness of youth and learning to live with its passing

Getting Past Your Breakup
Susan Elliot shows how you can turn your breakup into the best thing that has ever happened to you. It almost, sounds too good be true.

Great
Films

Her
Grappling with the breakdown of his divorce, Theodore falls for an AI. It's beautiful film, trust me.

500 Days of Summer
Tom remembers the one year he shared with Summer, his ex-girlfriend whom he believed he would eventually marry. This romance explores unrequited love and expectations in young adult relationships.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Two lovers have their memories clinically erased, and then fall in love all over again. Massive mistake!

Spotify

This playlist right here is going to help you get through the pain.
Hang in there!

Podcasts

Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel
Therapist Esther Perel counsels real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal and complicated details of conflicts that have brought them to her door.

Terrible, Thanks For Asking
Host Nora McInerny uses creativity as a coping mechanism for her own grief and loss, asking real people to share complicated and brutally honest feelings about how they’re REALLY doing.

Modern Love
Each week, hosts Daniel and Miya explore and recite their favourite stories from the New York Times’ Modern Love column archive.

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If you would like to explore what’s going on for you today, then just jump on! You will be welcomed to a safe, warm, non-judgemental space where you can be yourself and uncover what is important to you. You have all the answers. Let us help you find your way.

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