Speaking out can be confronting a partner, colleague, or friend about things they say or do that make you uncomfortable. It is not easy, but the most important thing you can do is set clear boundaries and recognise when they are crossed. It about voicing your discomfort when someone makes you feel uncomfortable.

Now, speaking out and standing up for yourself can be pretty daunting. It is perfectly natural to feel uneasy about standing up for yourself. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced. Being able to speak out is super important for improving the quality of your adult relationships. To hold those around us accountable for their actions, we must be able to communicate in a healthy and effective manner – and this is something that must be reciprocated. Everyone should feel comfortable expressing their feelings or discomfort.

Failing to hold others accountable for questionable behaviours is doing them a disservice; tiptoeing around the problem only allows it to worsen, and potentially affect more people. It can be difficult to start that initial conversation; here are some steps you can take before speaking out. Hopefully these will make the process a whole lot easier.

Recognise and identify the problematic behaviour, and then vocalise how it specifically affects you. As humans we a generally dislike being told what we’re doing wrong. If this is a relationship you want to keep, try not to come across as attacking the other person; talk about the problem in a calm and mature manner. Focus on the issue or behaviour at hand, and don’t get personal.

After speaking out, if their response invalidates your emotions, or dismisses the situation, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Similarly, when confronted with our own faults, it’s important to remain mature and be open to change. Be considerate and try see their side of the story, as you hope they would for you.

Be patient but be firm. You deserve the best.