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FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

Speaking out when others hurt me (Bullying)

Speaking out is about voicing your discomfort when someone makes you feel uncomfortable. It could involve confronting a romantic partner, classmate, or friend about things they say or do that make you uncomfortable. It’s not easy, but the most important thing you can do is tell others what makes you feel comfortable and let them know them they do make you feel this way.

Speaking out and standing up for yourself can be pretty scary. It’s normal to feel uneasy about standing up for yourself. Speaking out is a skill, and just like other skills it needs to be practiced. Being able to speak out is super important for making your relationships and friendships better. We have to let people know what they do that makes us feel uneasy, we have to talk to them in a way that is clear and get how feelings across in way that will make them listen with respect – and this is something that must go both ways in a relationship.

Everyone should feel comfortable expressing their feelings or discomfort. If we don’t make others aware of the bad things they do, we are actually hurting them in a way; if we don't say anything it will make the problem worse, and they could end up hurting more people. It can be difficult to start the conversation, so here are our top tips for speaking out. Hopefully these will make the talk a whole lot easier.

Make a list of the things that makes you feel uncomfortable, and then tell the person how they makes you feel. As humans we generally don’t like being told what we’re doing wrong, so focus on how you feel rather than what they are doing wrong. If this is a relationship or friendship you want to keep, try not to come across as attacking the other person; talk about the problem in a calm and mature way. Don’t get personal.

After speaking out, if their response makes your emotions seem wrong, or they ignore the situation, it might be time to think about whether you still want the relationship in your life. At the same time, if someone points out things you have done in an effort to tell you about their own feelings, it’s important to remain mature and open to change. Be kind and try see their side of the story, as you hope they would for you.

Be patient but be firm. You deserve the best.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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Great
reads

Starfish by Lisa Fipps
Ellie is tired of being fat-shamed and does something about it in this brilliant book Ever since Ellie wore a whale swimsuit and made a big splash at her fifth birthday party, she's been bullied about her weight. Eventually, she stands up and accepts her self.

Happy, Healthy Minds by The School of Life
This book looks at a bunch of topics that you might be dealing with, for example: when parents don’t seem to understand us; when we fall out with friends; when school feels boring or difficult; when we’re too busy and get overwhelmed; when our phones create trouble; when we feel sad, bored, anxious or fed up with things

Lovely by Jess Hong
This books teaches you to see the best in everyone, no matter what where the come from, no matter who they are.

Great
Films

Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Imagine reading the diary of kid who has just started middle school and has to survive. Yup, that's what this film is about

Wonder
August, a boy with a rare facial abnormality, enters the fifth grade in a private school where he befriends Jack. The two form a strong bond while facing the bullies in their class..

Napoleon Dynamite
A hilarious classic about nerdy guy who just wants to fit in. Don't we all...

Spotify

This playlist gives you the boost you need to speak out.

Places to find more resources

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