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FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

Managing Toxic Relations

What is a toxic relationship? Toxic relationships can occur anytime, anywhere and to anyone. The other person in your relationship or friendship may be making you feel humiliated, attacked or even just unsupported, anything that makes you feel you’re wellbeing, and what you believe in, is being threatened. This is a toxic relationship. This is when another person makes you feel small, helpless, and upset.

There’s a big difference between having a fight with someone, and them manipulating you all the time; if you feel you are in a toxic relationship, it can be hard to say what exactly it is about the other person that is making you feel uneasy or upset. Often, it’s hard to talk about and defend yourself, because it looks like you’re overreacting or ‘making a big deal’.

Toxic relationships can make you feel like you’re not you anymore, like you don’t have the same confidence that you used to. You may feel like you have to be careful when you are with the other person because you are worried about making the other person angry.

How to know if you’re in a toxic relationship
Every relationship is different, but there are certain signs you can look for. If you feel another person is constantly making you feel uncomfortable and upset, you could be in a toxic situation. If this person makes you do dangerous things or brings out the worst in you, this is another sign of a toxic relationship. Someone could even be ‘gaslighting’ you. In other words, instead of taking responsibility for their behaviour, they blame you, and make you feel crazy.

How to manage and resolve toxicity
Anyone can be in a toxic relationship. Knowing the signs of toxic relationships and friendships can help you let the other person know their behaviour makes you uncomfortable. It’s important to talk to others about your relationship. Calling out things that make you uncomfortable as soon as possible can be scary, but the other person needs to be aware of your boundaries for your relationship to be healthy.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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YouTube

Great
reads

Blogs

You Can Choose Your Own Life by Barbara Kerr and Barry Sommer
This book will help you make better decisions. It has five stories where the characters make decisions and immediately learning the consequences of whatever choices they have made.

Be True to Yourself by Amanda Ford
In this book is crammed with stories, information, and advice on all the important issues facing young women today: dating, self-respect, self-love, fights with friends, dealing with parents, and more.

Speak Up by Jared Peters
In this book, Jared Peters walks you through a 5-step framework to help you navigate the difficult conversations in your life.

Great
Films

Zootopia
When Judy Hopps, a rookie officer in the Zootopia Police Department, sniffs out a sinister plot, she enlists the help of a con artist to solve the case in order to prove her abilities to Chief Bogo.

Meet The Robinsons
Lewis, a brilliant young inventor, is keen on creating a time machine to find his mother, who abandoned him in an orphanage. Things take a turn when he meets Wilbur Robinson and his family.

Wonder
August, a boy with a rare facial abnormality, enters the fifth grade in a private school where he befriends Jack. The two form a strong bond while facing the bullies in their class..

Spotify

This might just help you navigate difficult relationship. See and hear if anything speaks to you.

What science says

Studies show that toxic and draining relationships increase stress levels, which negatively impact health. Scientists found that negative social experiences, such as toxic relationships, over time increase the risk of depression and can lead to other health conditions later on in your life.

Places to find more resources

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