Breakups hurt, no matter who ended the relationship.

If this is your first relationship, then the pain can feel quite overwhelming, however it’s important to remember this is a normal part of growing up. Here are a few tips to help you feel better. You don’t need to think about moving on just yet, allow yourself a while to process things and accept this big change.

Give yourself time: You are the top priority. It’s okay to focus on yourself for the next little while. It is really important to put yourself first during this difficult time. It doesn’t matter how long you were together or how serious you were, it’s completely normal to grieve losing a romantic connection. There’s no step-by-step guide to feeling better after a breakup, it’s different for everyone, and it’s important not to be angry at yourself for taking the time to accept the breakup and move on.

Self-care: Be kind to yourself. This could mean watching your favourite movie, reading, meeting up with friends, or even just taking a break from sports or other activities – self-care means something different to everyone. Treat yourself as if you were helping a friend through a breakup.

Rediscover yourself: Relationships can become a big part of our lives. They can become such a big part that we forget what kind of person we were before the relationship started. After a breakup it is important to remember who you were outside of the relationship.  Focus on your friends, hobbies, and interests, and all the things that make you, you. As sad as a breakup can be, it is an opportunity to remember the things you liked about your life before the relationship.

Distance yourself: Try and not talk with the person, at least for the first few days after a breakup. Time is important in getting over them; maybe you will be friends with them again someday, but for now give yourself space to come to terms with what has happened. This might mean deleting their number, blocking them, or even just staying off social media for a bit. What is important is that you think about your emotions, and get used to living without constant contact with them. This might help you not want to talk to your ex as much.

Deal with the anger: You might feel angry after the breakup. That’s okay.  Anger helps you deal with the pain and emotions of losing someone close to you. Thinking about how you feel and why you feel that way can help you move on, and think about your ex less.