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FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIPS

Breaking Up

Breakups hurt, no matter who ended the relationship. If this is your first relationship, then the pain can feel quite overwhelming, however it’s important to remember this is a normal part of growing up. Here are a few tips to help you feel better. You don’t need to think about moving on just yet but allow yourself a while to process things and accept this big change.

Give yourself time: You are the top priority. It’s okay to focus on yourself for the next little while. It is really important to put yourself first during this difficult time. It doesn’t matter how long you were together or how serious you were, it’s completely normal to grieve losing a romantic connection. There’s no step-by-step guide to feeling better after a breakup, it’s different for everyone, and it’s important not to be angry at yourself for taking the time to accept the breakup and move on.

Self-care: Be kind to yourself. This could mean watching your favourite movie, reading, meeting up with friends, or even just taking a break from sports or other activities – self-care means something different to everyone. Treat yourself as if you were helping a friend through a breakup.

Rediscover yourself: Relationships can become a big part of our lives. They can become such a big part that we forget what kind of person we were before the relationship started. After a breakup it is important to remember who you were outside of the relationship.  Focus on your friend, hobbies, and interests, and all the things that make you, you. As sad as a breakup can be, it is an opportunity to remember the things you liked about your life before the relationship.

Distance yourself: Try and not talk with the person, at least for the first few days after a breakup. Time is important in getting over them; maybe you will be friends with them again someday, but for now give yourself space to come to terms with what has happened. This might mean deleting their number, blocking them, or even just staying off social media for a bit. What is important is that you think about your emotions, and get used to living without constant contact with them. This might help you not want to talk to your ex as much.

Deal with the anger: You might feel angry after the breakup. That’s okay.  Anger helps you deal with the pain and emotions of losing someone close to you. Thinking about how you feel and why you feel that way can help you move on, and think about your ex less.

Change your perspective and uncover a way forward for you!

Here are some things that can help you with that.

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YouTube

Great
reads

How to Rock Break-Ups and Make-Ups by Meg Haston
Kacey wants take her friend Stevie down. She has to use her mean girl ways. Will this work? Read to find out.

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
This novel follows two lonely children, who create a magical forest kingdom in their imaginations, called Terabithia.

The Girl from Everywhere
Nix is a girl travelling the seas with her father. On their latest adventure she could find love and herself, or she could lose everything.

Great
Films

The Princess and the Frog
A young girl kisses a frog, and her life gets turned upside down. Are you ready for this?

Monte Carlo
Three girls go away on holiday and find love whilst having an adventure in Monte Carlo.

Bridge to Terabithia
Two lonely children create a magical forest kingdom in their imaginations, called Terabithia.

Spotify

This playlist right here is going to help you get through the pain.
Hang in there!

What science says

A study by psychologist Gary Lewandowski and his friends found that breaking up helped them learn and grow, and that they felt more great after a while.

Science says most people breakup for these eight reasons; they wanted to be more independent, they didn't have similar interests, a lack of openness, a lack of support, a lack of loyalty, a lack of time spent together, a lack of fairness, or a lack of romance. Was this your relationship?

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